Getting pissed and pissed off

You're a guy, a dude, a man. You've been out imbibing with your buddies, just chillin' with your chums, hangin' with your homies, getting pissed with your pals. The night is winding down, last call was an hour ago, and you head to the bathroom, hoping to avoid the awkwardness of trying to piss into an empty Diet Dr. Pepper can in your car on the way home.

You step up to the urinal, ready to release, feeling the flow, when you hear a woman's flirty voice: "Hey, big guy. Having a few drinks?"

Bewildered, you look around, glancing from side to side. You seem to be alone; not a soul is in the bathroom. You think, "WTF?" You reply to yourself, "IDK."

The woman's voice continues, slightly more stern: "Think you've had too many? Then it's time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home."

Who is this bitch? Where does she get off? WTF?

If this scenario sounds familiar, you must have been a guy drinking in New Mexico, where the state recently paid $21 each for about 500 talking urinal-deodorizer cakes equipped with motion-sensitive plastic devices. The talking toilet cakes, according to the Associated Press, "are in men's rooms in bars and restaurants across the state."

The message ends, as you stand there, scared pissless, holding your now-unpeeing manhood, "Remember, your future is in your hand."